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Posts Tagged ‘BP’

Halliburton fails to extinguish pants

Eyewitnesses attest to seeing burning underwear off the Mississippi coast, as oil executives frantically set fire to any evidence pertaining to their role in the Deepwater Horizon disaster. The toxic waste generated by the Y-fronts of former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney alone, have caused dark clouds across the whole of America.

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Posted: Jul 27th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Reliance on solar power could lead to wars over sunlight, warns expert

As Britain and other industrialised nations become increasingly hooked on solar energy, our reliance on the sun could see the country sucked into unwinnable wars, and sleepwalking into the dark ages, claimed controversial author Tony Harrington at the launch of his new book, ‘The Nights are Drawing In’.

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Posted: Aug 19th, 2010
More from Environment, World News



Latest series of SpongeBob to reflect newly oil-rich aquatic kingdom

Fans of comical sea sponge SpongeBob Squarepants are to receive a shock when the new series launches later this summer. Gone are the whimsical tales of the humorous starfish and his humble ocean adventures as the series changes to reflect the new found wealth of the oil-rich undersea world.

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Posted: Jul 31st, 2010
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Obama to kick BP boss’s arse live on TV

TV rights to make US government about $20 billion ‘Obama was desperate to show the voters how mad he really was,’ said an insider ‘he kept muttering he had to be seen ‘kicking ass’ when suddenly he said ‘that’s it!’’

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Posted: Jun 19th, 2010
More from World News



Massive Oil of Olay slick causing fresher, younger-looking fish

ultra regeneroic acido vitocolics exactly what the fish have lacked since the very dawn of time‘We are working hard to clear up the spill, but on the plus side the local marine life is looking better than ever, especially in the hard-to-reach areas around the eyes, gills and behind the fins.’

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Posted: May 17th, 2010
More from Environment