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Posts Tagged ‘Braveheart’

Salmond: Second Bannockburn ‘inevitable’

Tomorrow? Belongs to me, ya ken!In his usual, measured, non-inflammatory manner, the ex-leader of the Scottish National Party Alex Salmond has insisted he will soon retake Stirling Castle and shove a red hot poker ‘up the arse’ of David Cameron to avenge both historical and current slights on a proud and powerful nation.

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Posted: Jul 27th, 2015
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Drink bottles to carry images of washed-up alcoholic celebrities

An all-party Parliamentary group has recommended that, rather than ambiguous health warnings, all bottles containing alcohol should depict career suicides. A range of images will accompany the tag line ‘Liquid Death’, including Shane McGowan’s dental records and everything featuring Mel Gibson.

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2014
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Severe punishment agreed for non-Scots wearing kilts at weddings

Any non-Scottish people caught wearing kilts at weddings face at least ten years’ hard labour in a Polish prison under a new EU ruling. Sales of kilts as far south as Devon have increased ten-fold in the last 15 years, a boom attributed to increasing amounts of men seeking to distinguish themselves in a wacky way in a large group of other people.

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Posted: Feb 14th, 2012
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