The EU, having strenuously denied for a year and a half that it will never build a border across Ireland, has today been exposed as secretly planning to not do just that. A spokesman said that the matter of the border remains very controversial. [read...]
In an inspired piece of casting, the next super-villain to threaten Earth will be The Jacob, a time-travelling eccentric with plans to rear a super-race of Latin-speaking clones in top hats. ‘We’re working on his powers’, [read...]
A man who closed a Seattle airport by stealing a plane, which he later crashed, has been appointed as the new head of Brexit strategy due to his ‘forward thinking approach’. The unnamed airline employee made an ‘unauthorised takeoff’ [read...]
The Football Association has announced plans to appeal the result of the 2018 World Cup on the sole ground that no ‘deal’ was reached. The FA’s chief negotiator, Mr Andrew Andrews, has confirmed: ‘We do not recognise this news of an English defeat in the absence of a deal. [read...]
An importer of French wines has declared an intention to ignore Brexit. He said today, ‘it will be bad for business,’ pointing to the fact that absolutely no progress had been made in Brexit negotiations. [read...]
