As everywhere, except the lucrative Blackpool Illuminations, in the north is now incurring tighter Covid restrictions, an insider from the embattled Department of Health disclosed: “Northerners aren’t following Matt’s guidelines. He assumes it’s their inability to understand the advice rather than contrary guidelines that ministers routinely disobey to be the problem.” “We needed a rustic… [read...]
The government has announced plans to build a 3000 square km extension to Kent covering the Thames estuary and part of the English channel. Government Spokesman, Chris Grayling, explained; “The EU hid in the small print of the withdrawal agreement that there is a border between the UK and the EU – [read...]
The Home Office has revealed plans to introduce an EU style ‘fishing quota’ to deter migrants attempting to cross the English Channel, claiming that this is necessary to stop the flood of migrants trying to land by boat and other assorted sailing vessel on UK shores. [read...]
Experts have confirmed that Brexit has replaced Hitler as the leading endpoint of online debates. One researcher observed: ‘Such is the toxicity of Brexit that no-one has yet found a way of wanting to discuss anythingever again – let alone reviving a conversation once the ‘B-bomb’ has been dropped. [read...]
In what analysts have described as a significant escalation in the ongoing Breakfastxit crisis, sausages have insisted that the plate is full and that there is no room for any more mushrooms. In a move widely criticised, [read...]
