They have since invited their 2300 Facebook friends to their engagement party by creating an ‘Event’ entitled, ‘Nicola and James r gettin Married – The most special day in our lives LOL’.  The bride-to-be has been inundated with virtual bouquets of flowers and has signed up to become a ‘fan’ of weddings, while the groom has been preparing for the big day by completing the ‘Who is most likely to shag the bridesmaid?’ Facebook quiz, and challenging his mates to beat his score of 87%.

AlexTenenbaum

Chloe from Braintree in Essex who is to be a bridesmaid at her sister Sharon’s wedding was scathing; “Well, we were stunned to be honest. It’s supposed to be part of the fun. One of us will normally shout ‘oh, what a big one’ and the rest of the girls fall about laughing. It never fails… It’s a reference to his knob you see.’

Instead the disappointed hen party endured an awkward silence, while the waiter looked embarrassed and ashamed. ‘We felt a bit sorry for him. It kind of took away the buzz we had created by flashing our bras out the roof of the white stretch limo on the way there.’

Experienced waiter Mario Perrone who has been working at the Little Italy pizzeria for two years was insistent that he does in fact possess an enormous pepper mill but that ‘one of the other waiters must have hidden it as some kind of joke. I felt humiliated,’ he added. ‘All Italian waiters know that this is a sexy ploy we always use with the women. I felt like a failure as a man.’

A few attempts at innuendo were made when it was noticed that the menu mentioned ‘dough balls’ and ‘Italian sausage’ but the atmosphere around the table never really recovered. However, the barman at “Dreamz” nightclub later saved the night with a cheeky response to Sharon’s request for a ‘sloe comfortable screw against the wall’. The girls’ laughter continued for some time.