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Posts Tagged ‘Britain’

Divorcing couple play football on Christmas Day

will all kick off again on Boxing DayJoe and Paula Western decided to set aside their differences on Christmas day and play a game of football in no-mans land, the area between the house and the garden shed where Joe now sleeps.

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Posted: Dec 24th, 2011
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Eurozone crisis solved as France and Germany join the pound

‘In hindsight, combining both stable and weak economies to form the euro was a bit like inviting a dozen people from the nearest sink estate to become joint holders on your bank account.’

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2011
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Cameron vetoes changes to Eurovision Song Contest

‘The proposals were not in the interests of the UK,’ explained the Prime Minister. ‘In my opinion they were not conducive to ensuring that the best song wins. I’m just as fed up with those Balkan states voting for each other as anybody. Why on earth Blue didn’t do better last time beggers belief.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2011
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‘Embarrassing’ Britain is humanely destroyed

‘It seemed like the kindest thing to do’ explained Britain’s European relative Germany. ‘He kept trying to pretend that he was still one of the big boys, entering into military campaigns he couldn’t really afford and acting like he was still one of the major world economies. It was so sad.’

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2011
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Nation decides to have ‘duvet year’

will be up again in time for the OlympicsBritain woke up this morning, opened the curtains, took one look at 2011 and decided to go back to bed for the next 12 months.

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Posted: Dec 31st, 2010
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