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Posts Tagged ‘Britain’s Got Talent’

Home-brewed morphine to replace Saturday night TV

Health Officials warned about the dangers of overdosing on morphine, but admitted that it is no worse than Britain’s Got Talent and a far more reliable form of pain relief than watching Come Dine With Me. It can also be taken in table form, whereas Big Brother only works as a suppository.

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Posted: May 22nd, 2015
More from News In Brief



Reality TV needs to be more inclusive for Eton & Oxbridge graduates

A Social Mobility Commission study has discovered that those who really run the UK are woefully under-represented on the only thing that matters to the British public – Talent Shows. As a new season of the X Factor begins on Saturday, Simon Cowell has been forced to admit that very few senior diplomats, civil servants or ‘people like Steve Brookstein’ will be appearing on the programme.

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Posted: Aug 29th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



‘Debbie’s Law’ to reveal if partners have a history of ‘being boring’

A new law that could be passed within months will make men and women aware of previous instances of ‘dullness’ and ‘boring behaviour’ in their partners.

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Posted: May 5th, 2014
More from Politics



Simon Cowell’s underpants set to rise 3ft by 2025

Experts at the University of Celebrity Studies say they have discovered a rare human phenomenon that could see Simon Cowell vanish from our screens and engulfed by his own underpants within the next 10 years, possibly sooner.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2014
More from News In Brief



‘Ebola’ bookies favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

a new superstar to consume the public's hearts and mindsThe odds of a non-UK resident winning series eight of the ever popular talent show have dramatically shortened today, with the late entry of an outbreak of virulent hemorrhagic fever from Guinea.

Seen as ‘more photogenic than SuBo’, the virus promises to be just as ‘virulent as Diversity’, as ‘deadly as Paul Potts’ and guaranteed to cause ‘more internal bleeding’ than Jai McDowall’s last album. The 2012 BGT tour was axed due to low ticket sales, but EBOV is committed to ‘filling emergency rooms up and down the land’.

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Posted: Apr 1st, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment