Simon Cowell’s proposal for a ‘Britain’s Got Government’ show to replace the existing First Past the Post electoral structure received an unexpected boost this morning, after a recent poll put it as the nations current favourite.
Posted: May 2nd, 2011
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Former Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan has been unceremoniously gonged off while attempting to consummate his marriage to long term girlfriend Celia Walden. A trio of celebrity judges considered Morgan’s performance to be ‘self-congratulatory’, ‘self-satisfied’ and ‘too smarmy by half’ and he was dragged off before he could finish.
According to one onlooker Daily Telegraph columnist Walden remained conscious and composed throughout. ‘I suppose she‘s used to it by now,’ he says, ‘but it was like she’d been attacked by that green thing off Ghostbusters.’
Posted: Jun 30th, 2010
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The EU ruled that ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ must be made open to all EU citizens next year. British citizens will be entitled to enter European versions of the show, including ‘Luxembourg’s Got Talent’, which is yet to find a winner after 20 years.
Posted: Jun 8th, 2010
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Scientists meeting in London for a World summit on extra-terrestrial life have confirmed that there is now no hope of intelligent life being discovered in the Universe after Britain’s Got Talent was broadcast into space.
Posted: May 1st, 2010
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New EU regulations due to come into force next year are set to force local authorities to increase the amount of reality TV stars they recycle, with tough targets set to create a 70% reduction in reality TV star waste by 2015.
‘These new rules are absolutely vital to protect our environment for our children and our children’s children’ explained EU Environment Commissioner Stavros Dimas. ‘Our projections show that landfill sites will soon be full of people who have appeared on a reality TV show once then been discarded, but there’s no reason at all that they can’t be recycled and used on another show. Action needs to be taken now.’
Posted: Nov 11th, 2009
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