Prime Minister David Cameron has been put in an awkward position after staff at No.10 reported the disappearance of a number of wallets, handbags and mobile phones immediately following the Queen’s visit to Downing Street yesterday.
‘With student houses you have at least four sets of laptops, iPhones and a fair bit of ready cash in each house, protected only by a front door that they’re probably too stoned to lock,’ said a spokesburglar. ‘If there aren’t any students, how are we going to make an honest living?’
‘Domino’s record of having a pizza delivery boy on site within 30 minutes of the call being made, or your money back, seems to transfer well to the provision of emergency services.’
Posted: Mar 8th, 2012
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A Norfolk pensioner has been arrested in connection with the napalm death of a suspected intruder at her home on Saturday night. A charred pile of human remains was discovered on the welcome mat inside the front door of her bungalow by police who had been alerted to an incident by concerned residents.
Posted: Sep 20th, 2011
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Dewsbury mother Dawn Guthrie was devastated when she returned home from work to find that all the doors on her advent calendar had been smashed in and the entire contents stolen by thieves.
Posted: Nov 23rd, 2010
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