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Posts Tagged ‘calais’

Refugee nearly managed to cancel Sky

A spokesman for Sky said ‘This was an extremely rare event; and we have put in place many security measures, including trip wires, air tight doors and automatically extending contracts.

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Posted: Aug 7th, 2015
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Migrants face ‘milk and honey ban’ at UK Supermarkets

David Cameron has unveiled emergency legislation to forbid the sale of milk and honey products to those who do not have the legal right to be in Britain.

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2015
More from UK News

Channel Tunnel NOT a gateway to Narnia

And anyway, Aslan's been shot by a dentistThe Ministry of Defence has been forced to release a blanket denial that Calais’ entrance to the UK is the portal to a fantasy kingdom of bounteous social benefits and friendly characters from classic British fiction. Sadly, immigrants have been flooding into the area under this mistaken belief that they will get to meet Aslan, hobbits and the cast of ‘Glee’.

Nightly, hundreds of desperate stowaways risk their lives to get a peek of the animals of Farthing Wood who they believe are waiting at the other end. One migrant admitted: ‘The UK is the land of milk and honey – resting on the backs of four huge elephants and one enormous space turtle. And where else can you claim child benefit for dependents living outside the UK, while at the same time sending you other kids to Hogwarts?’

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Posted: Jul 31st, 2015
More from UK News

New Channel Tunnel back to North Africa unveiled

That'll sort itAfter months of top-secret excavation work, the results of a major Anglo-French construction project have been unveiled today: a brand-new extension of the Channel Tunnel that will take would-be migrants from Calais straight back to a currently undisclosed location in North Africa.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2015
More from Politics, UK News

Cross Channel foot passengers facing migrant ‘piggy-backing’ misery

so cunning you'd hardly know they were thereFoot passengers returning to the UK from day trips to Calais are being subjected to attempts by illegal migrants to stow away inside their personal belongings.

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2015
More from UK News