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Posts Tagged ‘campaign’

Party leaders replaced by their slogans on campaign trial

electorate relieved that humanity will play no further partIn a shock move, the leaders of the UK’s major political parties have withdrawn from the final month of political campaigning around the country, ahead of the General Election. Their place will be taken the vacuous party slogans penned especially for their campaigns.

The move comes after the Conservatives took their 2015 slogan ‘Tory competence versus Labour chaos’ on a short but successful promotional tour of Cornwall last week. Opinion polls showed the slogan outranking the PM on such criteria as trustworthiness and ability to govern. The final decision to replace the flesh and blood leader was made after papers favoured pictures of the slogan bottle-feeding a baby hedgehog over identical photos featuring Cameron.

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Posted: Apr 10th, 2015
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Campaign to save Windows 9 gains traction

Protesters from all over the globe are converging on Microsoft offices, computer repair shops and internet cafes to state the case for Windows 9. ‘It’s a pro-life issue,’ said one protester. ‘It may be malformed, prone to crashing, buggy and utterly useless,’ said another, ‘but look at the gene pool,’ he added. ‘I’ll have a gap on my shelf,’ said a middle-aged man sporting an anorak.

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2014
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US baby kissing ring exposed

thank heaven, for little republicans...America is in shock today as a major baby kissing ring involving prominent politicians was exposed on CBS documentary Newsnight. The scandal reaches across both party and racial lines, with Republican and Democratic politicians of both black and white ethnicity said to be in the ring. Estimates are that as many as 30,000 babies may have been kissed in the last few days alone.

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Posted: Nov 5th, 2012
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