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Posts Tagged ‘Canada’

Geoff Capes spotted on Phobos

‘He’s got a copy of the Radio Times from August 1984 and what looks like a half-eaten Cornish pasty, but it’s difficult to tell due to the size of his hands.’

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2015
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Canada runs out of coconut

An extra 52 tourists visited for the Women’s Football World Cup and their unexpected appetite for the fibrous drupe has led to a crisis, with 24 people who ‘swear by coconut water’ saying ‘Bloody hell, still no coconut water?’ and dying

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2015
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Canadians ootraged at loss of ‘boring’ image

There has been widespread anger across Canada at the loss of that nation’s carefully cultivated “safe and boring” image thanks to the recent exploits of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.

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Posted: Nov 19th, 2013
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Canada to repel superstorm Sandy using Dyson Airblade dryers

Canadians urge world not to worry about them, they're fineFollowing emergency talks with the inventor Sir James Dyson, the Canadian government has announced an ambitious plan to resist superstorm Sandy entering the country by using Dyson Airblade hand-dryers to blow it back towards the US.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2012
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USA to become a people-free gun reserve

Under Obama’s people control plan, all Americans will be relocated to Canada, and all guns will remain in the United States. ‘Without people to fire the guns, and without people to fire guns at, shootings will completely disappear,’ noted Obama.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2012
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