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Posts Tagged ‘Candy Crush’

GCSEs to be replaced by Hunger Games

streaming at its best‘For too long, we have allowed young people to leave school without a basic grasp of mental arithmetic, grammar or machetes’.

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Posted: Aug 11th, 2014
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Man threatens suicide under pressure of Candy Crush Saga requests

any other sort of crush momentarily preferableStreets around the Shard skyscraper in the City of London have been cordoned off after reports of a 32 year old office worker standing on the 48th floor window ledge threatening to jump unless every single one of his 290 Facebook friends promises to stop sending unsolicited invitations to play Candy Crush Saga.

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Posted: Feb 9th, 2014
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Candy Crush addict admits selling body online for ‘extra lives’

will the torment never end?!A long-suffering London housewife has today spoken of her desperation at dealing with her husband’s severe Candy Crush addiction, claiming that her home life has now become ‘unbearable’.

Patricia Willcox, a 46-year-old from Tooting, said she first noticed the extent of Brian’s issues with the popular ‘match-three’ game, when she discovered the 51-year-old ‘entertaining strangers’ via webcam, in return for extra ‘lives’ on Christmas Eve. ‘It got to the point where I couldn’t bear to be with him any more.’ said exasperated Patricia. ‘When your loving husband of twelve-years snubs your home cooked food in favour of a bag of Skittles, you know something’s wrong.’

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Posted: Jan 9th, 2014
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