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Posts Tagged ‘captivity’

Human released into the wild

988-human-releasedHas learnt to forage for nuts, berries and Fry’s Turkish Delight.

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2015
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Hundreds of Page 3 girls released from captivity

Carly, 19, from Essex has a thing or two to say about it...Hundreds of Page 3 girls were seen fleeing from The Sun offices today. It is thought some may have escaped from their captors while others were freed as The Mail Online closed in on its territory. The two groups have recently been engaged in a fierce battle, forcing The Sun to retreat to the moral high-ground.

One witness described the scene as ‘chaos’ as the girls, many of them emaciated, half-clothed and barely out of childhood, ran from the paper’s headquarters in Fleet Street and were bundled into nearby taxis. Nothing is known of the fate of a smaller number of Page 7 fellas previously abducted from various stripping dance troupes, who remain missing.

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Posted: Jan 21st, 2015
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Animal rights activists release pantomime horse into wild

A pantomime horse that was performing at the Theatre Royal, Windsor has been kidnapped by animal rights extremists and released into the wild. ‘Trigger’ who was appearing nightly in ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ starring Marti Webb, was captured on Sunday night and according to a statement by the Animal Liberation Front, ‘is now running free somewhere in the English countryside’.

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Posted: Jan 2nd, 2015
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Shock as ‘slaves’ discovered below stairs in Yorkshire mansion

Outrage was expressed today when police announced that a number of people had been kept against their will at the so-called “Downton Abbey” and forced to work in appalling servitude.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2013
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