‘I was looking for a car within 20 miles of my house, for under £4k and with less than 60,000 miles on the clock. When this came up I immediately expected it to be one of those where the dealer claims that auto trader has made a mistake and there is a 0 missing off the price and the mileage. Everybody knows that they are deliberately listed like that to get them to appear in the searches of people who won’t be interested, but even at £3k and 50,000 miles that would still be a great deal. So I gave them a call and that was when the problems started.’

Simon was told by the dealer, as he expected, that Auto Trader had made a mistake and the price should indeed have been £3,000. When he asked about the mileage he was informed that too was a mistake and the actual mileage was 115,000. Still interested at this price the dealer then revealed that there were also a few differences to the description in the advert.

‘I was still keen and wanted to arrange a viewing so he said he first had to make me aware that there were a couple of other minor things not quite consistent with the description too. The colour was listed as metallic blue but was actually a kind of grey, there were no electric windows or air conditioning, but it did come with body coloured bumpers and full service history. I decided it was still worth a look.’

It was only when Simon arrived at the dealership that he discovered that the ‘car’ was actually a 15 year old donkey, called Paul. Unimpressed by the offer of a knock down price of £2,500, cheap running costs and fuel economy up to 45 miles per carrot his search for a new car continues.

Upon enquiring about the claim of a full service history Simon was offered a video tape allegedly showing documentary evidence of the donkey being serviced. He decided against viewing it.

This is thought to be the second worst case of misleading advertising on the website, only topped by a ’53 plate Honda Accord listed for 99p, which was in fact a bar of Cadbury’s dairy milk.

Vertically Challenged Giant

Ford are reported to be pinning all their hopes on this new model, aiming to become the brand leader in mid-range vehicles that backfire and then fall apart as they drive round and round in little circles. After years in the design stage and endless boardroom battles that saw Ford executives getting custard pies in the face, the clown car was finally unveiled at the Birmingham Motor Show. There were gasps and applause, but unfortunately very little laughter. ‘The car is fine,’ said Mike Peters of What Car; ‘But it hasn’t overcome that fundamental design problem of all previous clown cars; it just isn’t very funny.’

The specially hired clown drivers were keen to point out the many exciting new features; such as windscreen-washers aimed at the driver, the loud, old-fashioned ‘parp-parp’ horn and an emergency bucket of confetti to throw over fellow clowns. The official voice over chuckled that ‘The Ford Coco is a five-door, no hang on; four-door! No, now only two-door, mid-range family vehicle that can do 0 – 3 mph in about four minutes!’ And then one of the clowns pretended to cry when the steering wheel came off in his hand. But by this time the straight-faced crowd had drifted off to look at other exhibits.

The designer of the Ford Coco was said to be inconsolable at the reaction. But he did finally manage one big laugh from the crowd, when he drove away from the Exhibition Centre in a Nissan Sunny.