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Posts Tagged ‘Catholic church’

Catholic Church makes early withdrawal from contraception forum

European leaders have failed to reach agreement on a forum at contraception in the Dutch Capital, Den Haag. The event had a mixed reception from the start and was overshadowed by the Vatican representative’s withdrawal just before the climax, uttering a hurried ‘Sorry, I have to shoot’.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2013
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Pagans and Druids issue apology to Stonehenge labourers

Britain’s Pagan and Neo-Druidic communities have issued a joint statement finally apologising for the ‘unspeakable suffering and inconvenience’ caused by the building of Stonehenge in the second and third centuries BC.

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Posted: Sep 14th, 2013
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Pope gets bigger oar to stick into Middle East conflict

'Who said the Catholic church was up shit creek without a paddle, eh?'Levels of papal interference in international affairs is set to rise this week, with the unveiling in the Vatican of a bigger, more-eye catching papal oar, shortly to be stuck into the global argument about the Middle East.

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Posted: Sep 6th, 2013
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Pope invites Gok Wan to Vatican to ‘camp-up’ the clergy

Pope building up to appearing naked in front of pilgrims by All Saints DayAfter surprising the world with his relaxed views on homosexuality, Pope Francis has stepped-up his attempts to modernise the Catholic Church by enlisting the services of style guru Gok Wan in a bid to ‘makeover’ the Church’s hierarchy.

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Posted: Jul 30th, 2013
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Unholy row as Benedict returns to reclaim the papacy in time for Easter

Pope Benedict strode into St Peter’s Square yesterday, fully refreshed after his Lenten sabbatical and announced that he was ready to take the reins of the papacy once more. With a fresh ear piercing, his skull cap set back on his head at a jaunty angle and a giggling nun on each arm, it was clear that the break from the burden of office had taken years off the former pontiff as he vigorously shoved aside pilgrims on his way back to the Vatican.

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2013
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