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Posts Tagged ‘Catholic church’

Meteor ‘God’s anger’ over gay marriages, warns 73-year-old celibate

A fireball witnessed over Britain on Saturday night is a warning from God over David Cameron’s plan to allow gay marriages, warns the most senior Roman Catholic cleric in the country.

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2012
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Cheering crowds greet first orgasm since 1993

‘Poor Bridget hasn’t been able to crack one off on her own even in the privacy of her own bedroom in case she goes blind and her hands drop off.’

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Posted: Aug 1st, 2011
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Vatican launches Home Exorcism Kit

PopePope Benedict XVI has given his seal of approval to a special self-exorcism kit that members of the public can use to tackle their own personal demons.

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2011
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Leaked documents reveal Vatican plans ‘younger, sexier Pope’ next time round

Leaked documents have revealed that the Vatican plans to appoint a ‘much younger, hotter, sassier Pope’ next time the position becomes available in an effort to reach out to a new generation of churchgoers.

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Posted: Mar 11th, 2011
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Pope groomed by online pontiff-phile who pretended to be God

Benedictum non sanctum‘Every day he would issue me with commandments – though most of them involved me sending him saucy photos – and at the time it all seemed very convincing.’

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Posted: Feb 9th, 2011
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