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Posts Tagged ‘Catholic priests’

Unholy row as Benedict returns to reclaim the papacy in time for Easter

Pope Benedict strode into St Peter’s Square yesterday, fully refreshed after his Lenten sabbatical and announced that he was ready to take the reins of the papacy once more. With a fresh ear piercing, his skull cap set back on his head at a jaunty angle and a giggling nun on each arm, it was clear that the break from the burden of office had taken years off the former pontiff as he vigorously shoved aside pilgrims on his way back to the Vatican.

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2013
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God arrested as accessory to child abuse by priests

Police today arrested God for failing to inform the authorities about crimes committed by several priests after He heard confessions from the perpetrators as they sought forgiveness in their prayers.

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Posted: Mar 12th, 2013
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Catholic church split over ordination of women paedophiles

nothing even remotely phallocentric going on hereThe Catholic church is facing the most significant threat to its unity in generations as progressives call on the Vatican to advance the cause of gender equality and allow women paedophiles to be ordained as Catholic priests.

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Posted: Jan 1st, 2013
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Catholic church denies existence of normal priests

The Roman Catholic church has strongly denied that there could be hundreds of hard-working priests in parishes across the UK showing no inclination towards paedophilia.

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Posted: Mar 8th, 2012
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Catholic church to combat ‘sexual predator’ choirboys with burqas

also stops altar boys distracting priests from neighbouring parishes ‘I think we all accept that in hindsight, the customary cassock and surplice probably hasn’t done priests any favours,’

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Posted: May 23rd, 2010
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