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‘Please stop killing each other in my name, I don’t exist,’ clarifies God
‘I don’t care what you call me – Allah, God, Yahweh, Vishnu, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whatever – It really doesn’t matter because I don’t exist’. [read...]
Tagged Catholic
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Catholicism falls in to Administration
The Catholic Church, the world’s largest supplier of Christianity, is set to file for administration as the Coronavirus shutdown pushes mainstream religions to breaking point. Earlier this month The Holy See issued a profits warning following a disappointing Easter, [read...]
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Cardinal Newman accidentally burnt as witch
In a tragic turn of events, an administration error has meant that John Henry Newman’s two ‘miracles’ have now been recognized as ‘spells’. Although the Catholic Church is big fan of the intercession of saints, [read...]
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Concerns grow over McDonald’s sponsoring Notre Dame restoration
A leaked document has caused concern that the apparently generous offer of money by McDonald’s to help rebuild Paris’s Notre Dame cathedral, recently damaged in a fire, may come with some conditions that critics say are ‘about as palatable as a Filet-o-Fish’. [read...]
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Once-a-year churchgoers face change to ‘Christmas Plus’ contract
Once-a-year church attenders have been left fuming after the terms and conditions of their relationship with their religious provider were unilaterally changed. Fair weather faith-keepers found out the news as they headed into Christingle and Midnight mass services up and down the land. [read...]