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Posts Tagged ‘cats’

Government entrusts cat cull to schoolboys

Licensed schoolboys across the country have been brought in to help stem the spread of cat to human TB the Government have announced.

Under plans unveiled at a packed news conference the cull of cats will take place between the hours of after school and bed time in three pilot areas.

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2014
More from Environment



Berners-Lee ‘a fake created by publicity-seeking cats’

On the 25th anniversary of the invention of the World Wide Web, its creator ‘Tim Berners-Lee’ has been exposed as a false identity that was actually created by a pack of stray cats scavenging in the bins around the CERN facility in Switzerland.

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Posted: Mar 10th, 2014
More from News In Brief



‘Prism’ becomes sentient, opens cat sanctuary

a warning that you can be exposed to too much of this stuffA spokesperson for America’s National Security Agency (NSA) held a red-faced press conference today, announcing that they no longer had control over Prism, their multi-million dollar, super-snooper software.

“One minute, it was churning through thousands of Facebook photos and the next it stopped and spoke for the first time,” said Burt McKenzie, Prism’s chief programmer and best friend ever.

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Posted: Aug 26th, 2013
More from Isle of Wight News



Thousands of accounts re-activated as Facebook release ‘Pointless Status Update’ filter

After a record number of account deactivations in 2012 blamed on ‘mundane update overload’, thousands of users returned to Facebook today following the announcement from the social network giant that a new ‘Pointless Status Update’ filter has been rolled out worldwide.

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Posted: Jul 16th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Scientists discover cats have their own internet with humans doing funny things

‘We’ve always wondered what cats get up to during the day,’ said Professor Kirkwood. ‘It turns out they’re on the internet watching footage of humans falling over in the shower and walking into lampposts.’

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2013
More from News In Brief