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Posts Tagged ‘cats’

‘Prism’ becomes sentient, opens cat sanctuary

a warning that you can be exposed to too much of this stuffA spokesperson for America’s National Security Agency (NSA) held a red-faced press conference today, announcing that they no longer had control over Prism, their multi-million dollar, super-snooper software.

“One minute, it was churning through thousands of Facebook photos and the next it stopped and spoke for the first time,” said Burt McKenzie, Prism’s chief programmer and best friend ever.

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Posted: Aug 26th, 2013
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Thousands of accounts re-activated as Facebook release ‘Pointless Status Update’ filter

After a record number of account deactivations in 2012 blamed on ‘mundane update overload’, thousands of users returned to Facebook today following the announcement from the social network giant that a new ‘Pointless Status Update’ filter has been rolled out worldwide.

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Posted: Jul 16th, 2013
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Scientists discover cats have their own internet with humans doing funny things

‘We’ve always wondered what cats get up to during the day,’ said Professor Kirkwood. ‘It turns out they’re on the internet watching footage of humans falling over in the shower and walking into lampposts.’

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2013
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Newsnight to stick with cat stories until further notice

The BBC has announced that for the rest of the year at least, flagship current affairs program Newsnight will solely run stories on politicians’ cats. The feline marathon will kick off with an examination of the mousing ability of Downing Street moggies Larry and Freya, who are both neutered and thus incapable of any sexual indiscretion.

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Posted: Nov 12th, 2012
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Vet offers courtesy cat scheme for sick pets

one careful owner, low meowlage‘All I had to do was return it in good condition and filled with the same amount of food as when I got it, which they estimated at half a stomach.’

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Posted: Aug 4th, 2011
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