The government is deploying crack army bomb disposal units to help Britain’s elderly switch on their central heating this winter.
Fred (86) and Ethel (85) Wilkinson said they’ve been trying since September to switch on their central heating but ‘when it came to turning the switch our nerve failed and we went back to wrapping ourselves in tin-foil and old newspapers’.
Posted: Oct 12th, 2011
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‘When you’re wearing as much knitwear and tweed as some pensioners, just turning the central heating up a notch too high can easily spell disaster.’
Posted: Sep 26th, 2011
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UN Chief Ban ki-Moon called for a Christmas ceasefire at 65 Acre Lane, Carshalton, where the marital conflict between Mr and Mrs Seymour over the ideal temperature for their central heating system has been escalating.
Posted: Jan 2nd, 2010
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‘I’ve dreamt about this moment for a long time.’
Posted: Dec 7th, 2007
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