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Posts Tagged ‘CERN’

Berners-Lee ‘a fake created by publicity-seeking cats’

On the 25th anniversary of the invention of the World Wide Web, its creator ‘Tim Berners-Lee’ has been exposed as a false identity that was actually created by a pack of stray cats scavenging in the bins around the CERN facility in Switzerland.

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Posted: Mar 10th, 2014
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Man who has never even heard of Higgs Boson seems to be doing OK

A Cheltenham butcher who has never heard of Higgs Boson is getting on with his life just fine say his friends.

‘Gordon has never heard of it,’ said Luke Church, a friend, ‘but he just goes on living all the same.’

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Posted: Oct 12th, 2013
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CERN Scientists confirm ‘Christmas Collider Fun Day’ rumours

Scientist at the CERN Laboratory were forced to admit yesterday that the Christmas Collider Fun Day, giving lab workers a ‘bonus massive sub-atomic collision between any two things they bring into work’, had unintentionally impacted on the real world.

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Posted: Dec 13th, 2012
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Particle physics ‘all made up’ admit boffins

what scientists know 'just incredible'Scientists everywhere have been left red faced today as it has been revealed that the whole standard model theory of particle physics is entirely fictional.

For years, billions of pounds have been pumped into state of the art labs to fund so called ‘particle accelerators’ in the hope that the secrets of the big bang are revealed. ‘It’s all complete bollocks,’ admitted moptopped lab boy Brian Cox. ‘What a scam! It’s the greatest joke the science community has ever staged and you all fell for it –suckers.’

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2012
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Scientists hail first sighting of elusive bankers’ morals

physicists allowing themselves an extra scotch egg for lunch, as a bonus‘We knew one banker, somewhere, must have had a pang of guilt at least once,’ declared an exhausted and delighted spokesman.

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2012
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