Scientist at the CERN Laboratory were forced to admit yesterday that the Christmas Collider Fun Day, giving lab workers a ‘bonus massive sub-atomic collision between any two things they bring into work’, had unintentionally impacted on the real world. [read...]
‘We knew one banker, somewhere, must have had a pang of guilt at least once,’ declared an exhausted and delighted spokesman. [read...]
‘We were a bit surprised to find we’d topped six hundred million miles an hour, especially as the speedo only goes up to one hundred and twenty, but we put it down to the new go-faster stripes I’d got fitted that morning.’ [read...]
Scientists at CERN have issued a warning of a possible black hole when Brian Cox returns to the site to resume his ’day job’.
‘We’ve noticed a dramatic increase in the matters of Professor Cox’ explained project leader Lyn Evans. [read...]