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Posts Tagged ‘CERN’

Bored neutrino can’t get out of Switzerland fast enough

CERN spokesman Otto Heinkelman confirmed that a neutrino had travelled from Switzerland to Italy at faster than the speed of light, apparently to escape the ennui.

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2011
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Scientists baffled as First Capital Connect train arrives before it should

Britain’s rail operators, the entire scientific community and 1,439 passengers were in shock today as First Capital Connect published tentative proof of their Brighton to Bedford service arriving at London Bridge 20 seconds before it was meant to.

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Posted: Sep 23rd, 2011
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Greenwich admits using Essex man’s bowel movements for World Clock

Boffins at the Royal Observatory at Greenwich have revealed that they have never actually been able to get atomic clocks to work properly and have, for the last thirty years, been taking the standard for world time from the bowel movements of Billericay resident, James Watson.

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Posted: Sep 18th, 2011
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Binatone’s version of Large Hadron Collider set to go on sale

product launched on QVCProduct launched on QVC.

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2011
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Near miss as Large Hadron Collider discovers ‘Son of God’ particle

‘It’s not quite the God particle we’ve been looking for, ‘said Professor Mann, head of the Atlas Project at CERN, ‘but it’s a miracle nonetheless.’

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2010
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