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Posts Tagged ‘Channel 4’

West Midlands butterfly denies causing hurricane

life's been chaotic since revelations emergedA butterfly from the Black Country has angrily denied being the cause of Hurricane Gonzalo, the tail end of which battered much of the UK this week. This all came after meteorologists, using cutting edge computer modelling, traced the origins of the hurricane back to the single flap of a butterfly’s wings three weeks last Tuesday in a field outside Walsall.

‘It was mental,’ said Red Admiral Roger Bould. ‘I was just fluttering about, as you do, when these boffins turn up and say that I set off a chain of events that caused devastation from Bermuda to Grimsby. Next thing I know, Sky News are reversing their outside broadcast lorries into the field and I’m being accused of everything from hurricanes and typhoons to the next James Blunt album. What am I meant to do, sit watching Channel 4 racing all afternoon and not flapping my wings just in case things go abdomen-up in Australia?’

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Posted: Oct 22nd, 2014
More from UK News



Challenging day for Dr Christian as his mum appears on Embarrassing Bodies

Diagnosis: Run Away!!!‘He just clammed up and looked very strange as soon as I started explaining about my thick smelly discharge.’

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Forgotten Channel 4 Big Brother contestants finally released from captivity

no-one ever bothered to ask; 'where are they now?'Nine Big Brother contestants received an official apology from Channel 4 today, after being accidentally left in the Big Brother House since its last showing on the channel four years ago. Two stunned producers discovered the group, who had formed a primitive society around their Big Brother ‘God’, when returning to the show’s previous location in Borehamwood.

‘We assumed that we had angered Big Brother in some way and were consequently a part of a never-ending task that the whole world was watching’, said one contestant Emma Davis, nervously cradling her two-year-old son who was born in the jacuzzi in the garden. ‘We jokingly asked BB for booze and party food for the first few months but nothing appeared, so we began pleading and praying, hoping something would turn up.

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Posted: Sep 12th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



Free school meals to include ‘pony and rabbit’

Education Minister David Laws says that free school dinners for primary school children will include ‘rabbit and pony’.

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Posted: Sep 8th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Men on diets demand to know when the potato ‘stopped being a vegetable’

Frustrated males shamed into embracing a healthy regime have been outraged to discover that starchy, tuberous crops are not the route to a six-pack, female approval and eternal life as had been previously suggested.

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Posted: Mar 8th, 2014
More from Health