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Posts Tagged ‘charity’

‘Quids Company’ launched to assist impoverished charity chiefs

Ex charity chiefs, whose funding has dried up, are to be supported by a brand new charity ‘Quids Company’ following claims that they are likely to face severe personal hardship and social deprivation after years of financial enrichment.

The new charity will help deprived and vulnerable charity bosses in London, Liverpool and Bristol to come to terms with the ending of lucrative funding strands. A telephone support line, part funded by cash that should have gone to The Samaritans but somehow got diverted, will help those coping with the stress of any criminal investigations. Money will also be set aside to fight future legal battles and to help extended members of their families keep their mouths shut.

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2015
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‘Save the Charities’ charity launched

A new charity has been launched to save British charities and ‘especially’ their Chief Executives from extinction. With many coming under increased pressure to ‘ask nicely’ for donations, instead of targeting known dementia sufferers and holding them upside down by their ankles while fleecing their bank accounts.

An STC spokesman said: ‘Donations are at an all time low just when charity boss expectations are rising…

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2015
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Persistent cold callers and chuggers face new ‘badgerer cull’

Cute, furry creatures 'don't stand a chance'Following last year’s unsuccessful culling campaign, the Government has today announced plans for a second attempt at reducing the ‘badgerer’ population

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2015
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Camila Batmanghelidjh told to simplify her name or else

kids v. idsWork and Pensions Secretary Ian Duncan Smith has ordered Kids Company boss Camila Batmanghelidjh to simplify her name or face instant liquidation of the charity that helps needy young people avoid contact with Conservatives. ‘Something like er, Margaret, or Theresa would be much more manageable and, as for the surname, well something a little bit English sounding would make our job of denouncing her as an evil thief that much more easy.’

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Posted: Jul 12th, 2015
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‘Charity Muggers’ is misleading and unfair on us, say actual muggers

The term ‘charity mugger’ was deemed offensive and unfair today by a leading Muggers’ Union. Often shortened to ‘chugger’, the phrase was coined to describe the charity agents who prey on innocent High Street shoppers in a bid to raise funds, but Andy Tover, chairman of the Alliance of Muggers and Street Thugs, said it was unfair to tar his members with the same brush.

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Posted: Feb 4th, 2015
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