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Posts Tagged ‘charity’

Lose a leg for us this Dismember, urges charity

A local charity is raising awareness of its cause by calling the twelfth month of the year ‘Dismember’ and urging the public to ‘chop one off for us’, it was confirmed yesterday. ‘It doesn’t have to be a whole arm or leg – just below the knee or elbow would be fine’ said a spokesman. ‘It could even be your little fella – we don’t mind what you do as long as you Instagram the panicked reaction of your colleagues when blood starts spurting all over the office breakout area’.

The Carshalton Pet Bereavement Counselling Service is asking volunteers to raise a minimum of £1000 in sponsorship to fund a joining pack comprising a small chainsaw, a large tourniquet, and a wipe-clean leaflet explaining how, for many, losing a pet can be ‘literally like losing a limb’.

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Posted: Nov 29th, 2013
More from Lifestyle



Waitrose shoppers’ charity dilemma; Cure cancer or new speedos?

‘I mean, on the one hand you think ‘obviously the swimming club!’ But then, I’ve started hearing some pretty bad stuff about cancer.’

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2013
More from News In Brief



Feature: Marathon rhinos still being hunted for their horns

a personal beastThis running season, at least 20 rare marathon rhinos will be killed by poachers hoping to cash in on the rare medicines market, campaigner say.

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2013
More from Features



Red Nose Day appeal: Help to save a comedian’s career

Comic Relief founder Richard Curtis has spoken out about the many comedians who rely on the aid of Red Nose Day to sustain their careers and offset their tax liabilities.

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Posted: Mar 14th, 2013
More from Celebrity



Men must be microchipped by 2016

A pizza-sized chip, encrypted with the man’s name, address and the current whereabouts of his keys, will be inserted into each buttock, thus by-passing the need for rescue services to engage him in unintelligible conversation

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Posted: Feb 8th, 2013
More from News In Brief