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Posts Tagged ‘charity’

Men must be microchipped by 2016

A pizza-sized chip, encrypted with the man’s name, address and the current whereabouts of his keys, will be inserted into each buttock, thus by-passing the need for rescue services to engage him in unintelligible conversation

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Posted: Feb 8th, 2013
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OAPs wield nudity weapon in fight against cutbacks

A group of elderly ladies from Buxton has promised not to issue a nude calendar this Christmas – provided the public pledge sufficient funds to keep their day care centre open.

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Posted: Dec 13th, 2012
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Man ‘hurt and saddened’ that no one noticed he’s done Movember

‘It’s been over four weeks now, and not one person has tried to give me the new nickname ‘Magnum, PI’,’ complained the skinny strawberry blond. ‘It’s just not very supportive. One person did ask me ‘what’s that on your top lip?’ on Tuesday, but it turns out the biro I’d been chewing had broken, so I don’t think it counts.’

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2012
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Barclays CEO rescues six kittens from a bin, takes them to kids’ cancer ward

now deicating himself to protecting other endangered creatures, like bankers‘It’s what anyone would do,’ said Barclays CEO Bob Diamond after leaping in front of a rubbish truck to save six kittens discarded in a bin.

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Posted: Jun 29th, 2012
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David Walliams in ‘doomed’ charity bid to finish Stieg Larsson trilogy

David Walliams has failed in his bid raise money for disadvantaged kids by reading all twenty thousand pages of Stieg Larsson’s millennium trilogy dressed as a transsexual. The writer and performer collapsed late last night in the reading room of the British Library after a period of 82 days without intellectual stimulation .

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Posted: Jun 5th, 2012
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