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Posts Tagged ‘charity’

Abu Hamza ‘worked for depressed kittens shelter’, claim defence

After claims at his trial that Abu Hamza al-Masri secretly worked for MI5, his lawyers have further revealed the radical Muslim cleric’s extensive work for charity. The US terror trial has heard that Hamza was a ‘leading light’ down at the local homeless shelter, giving reiki foot massages to vagrants, and worked evenings and weekends at the ‘Fluffywumbles Home for Depressed Felines’.

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Posted: May 8th, 2014
More from News In Brief



London marathon runner raises £1m for existential angst charity

'will all these happy people please go away'London marathon runner, Nigel Mortimer, is celebrating this morning after raising £1m for the victims of crippling existential angst.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2014
More from Sport



Lose a leg for us this Dismember, urges charity

A local charity is raising awareness of its cause by calling the twelfth month of the year ‘Dismember’ and urging the public to ‘chop one off for us’, it was confirmed yesterday. ‘It doesn’t have to be a whole arm or leg – just below the knee or elbow would be fine’ said a spokesman. ‘It could even be your little fella – we don’t mind what you do as long as you Instagram the panicked reaction of your colleagues when blood starts spurting all over the office breakout area’.

The Carshalton Pet Bereavement Counselling Service is asking volunteers to raise a minimum of £1000 in sponsorship to fund a joining pack comprising a small chainsaw, a large tourniquet, and a wipe-clean leaflet explaining how, for many, losing a pet can be ‘literally like losing a limb’.

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Posted: Nov 29th, 2013
More from Lifestyle



Waitrose shoppers’ charity dilemma; Cure cancer or new speedos?

‘I mean, on the one hand you think ‘obviously the swimming club!’ But then, I’ve started hearing some pretty bad stuff about cancer.’

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2013
More from News In Brief



Feature: Marathon rhinos still being hunted for their horns

a personal beastThis running season, at least 20 rare marathon rhinos will be killed by poachers hoping to cash in on the rare medicines market, campaigner say.

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2013
More from Features