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Posts Tagged ‘Chelsea’

Catholics ‘despondent’ after Rafael Benitez accepts vacant Pope position

he maka da speech very niceWhite smoke billowing from the Vatican’s Fiorentina End chimney this morning signalled a shock turn of the managerial roundabout at Europe’s top institutions of football and religion.

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Posted: Feb 12th, 2013
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Chelsea accuse ball boy of ‘acting like a Chelsea player’

Chelsea’s interim manager, Rafa Benitez, has praised the talent of the ball boy who was kicked in the ribs by Eden Hazard, and complimented him for a fine display of ‘diving, time-wasting and simulating injury’ worthy of even the greatest Chelsea stars of the past.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2013
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Fernando Torres ‘being broken up for parts’

Chelsea’s misfiring striker is being broken up and sold for parts, according to Brian Barnes, the club’s accountant.

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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2013
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New stadium statues to encapsulate miserable reality of the ‘beautiful game’

Newcastle United’s piece depicts a footballer pushing a wheelbarrow full of gold coins past a crowd of cash-strapped Geordies queuing to renew their season tickets.

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Posted: Nov 27th, 2012
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Abramovich names Abramovich as new Chelsea manager

Da!Roman Abramovich has been confirmed as the new manager of Chelsea by Roman Abramovich following the departure of hapless stooge Roberto di Matteo, who inexcusably lost a couple of games whilst managing the team for a pittance.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2012
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