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Posts Tagged ‘Chilcot’

Bin Laden cassettes ‘a dangerous collection of 80s cheese’

It has been revealed today that a collection of audio cassettes seized from Osama Bin Laden’s abandoned Afghan compound, actually contain an alarming amount of 80s pop tunes.

Brett Rogers, one of the first U.S. Navy Seals to enter the compound, claimed he was alerted to Bin Laden’s whereabouts by the distant melodic tones of Salt-N-Pepa’s Push It. ‘Well the lyrics do say that “this dance ain’t for everybody, only for the sexy people” obviously I took it as a sign’.

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2015
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Burglary case adjourned while judge examines WMD claims

Inspectors called back from the pubThe man had broken into the houses ‘in the interests of national security’, after receiving a detailed dossier with evidence that the families concerned had nuclear ambitions.

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Posted: Dec 2nd, 2011
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Chilcot Inquiry panel find witnesses ‘lacking in razzle-dazzle’ since last Friday

Members of the Iraq Inquiry panel have complained that witnesses have seemed ‘lacking in razzle-dazzle’ in comparison to last Friday’s star turn by first-rate sorceror Tony Blair, whose triumphant appearance really stunned and staggered ‘em and left ‘em begging for more.

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Posted: Feb 2nd, 2010
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