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Posts Tagged ‘Chilcott enquiry’

The ‘Book’ to be slimmed down due to Health & Safety concerns

Following an increase in A&E admissions various organisations have been urged to redraft their ‘books’ to minimise injuries whenever situations suggest throwing the book at people might be useful.

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Posted: Nov 5th, 2015
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De Agostini to publish the Chilcot report in one thousand monthly parts

‘Month by month, you will learn about the build up to the Iraq war, the spurious evidence that was used to justify it, and the disastrous aftermath for the whole Middle-Eastern region’ said Sir John, ‘ Creating an encyclopedic record that you and your family will treasure for ever.’

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2015
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Neolithic Chilcot Report discovered

Nearly 100,000 pages of monolithic prose have been found buried near Stonehenge, making it the largest monument to landfill in Britain. This mysterious ruin was concealed under several hundred tonnes of earth, invoices for Iraqi guns and gag orders from solicitors representing Messrs T. Blair & A. Campbell.

The 4,500-year-old manuscript, was discovered using ground-penetrating radar and from the overwhelming reek of ‘bullsh@t’ emanating from it. Generations of hippies are expected to make pilgrimages to the area under the banner ‘Make love not war…unless you have a specific 45 minute warning’.

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Posted: Sep 17th, 2015
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Chilcott enquiry learns that Iraq War was started by Harry Hill shouting ‘Fight!’

Tony Blair has claimed that the final decision to proceed with war against Saddam Hussein was not taken by himself or George Bush, but by ITV comic Harry Hill.

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Posted: Mar 2nd, 2010
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