The President’s controversial policy of separating migrant children from their parents and keeping them in cages, has been fully supported by the mixed martial-arts fraternity and the makers of galvanised chain-link fencing. The hope is that these children will grow up with the requisite skills of a cage fighter; [read...]
‘Easily distracted, poor concentration and short attention spans’, is how a 4 year-old child has described his parents, regarding the provision of bedtime reading at their Surrey home. Pre-school nipper Jack Poulter has requested an OFSTED inspection to assess the quality of service and to determine if Nanny and Grandad should be appointed. [read...]
Trampolines in gardens across the land are to resume their usual roles as lawn-knackerers and collectors of shite from tomorrow, it has been confirmed. The news comes after the ten-foot wide monstrosities enjoyed three days of being bounced upon by happy children during the unseasonably hot weather. [read...]
The report singled out ‘variable’ standards of teaching and ‘low-level’ task setting – marked improvements on the previous ratings of ‘woeful’ and ‘non-existent’. [read...]
A school playground was plunged into confusion yesterday when a seven-year old boy demanded that a game of ‘It’ be restarted because he was not ready. [read...]
