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Posts Tagged ‘children’

Asda introduces ‘slapping-friendly areas’ for shoppers with small children

won't be beaten on price, service or anything other than aisle 29 Asda is to create ‘slapping areas’ where frustrated parents can hit their children without causing offence to other shoppers.

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Posted: Aug 14th, 2014
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17% of children ‘just f***ing stupid’

career in politics awaitsAlmost one in five children in today’s schools are just plain f***ing stupid, according to a new report

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Posted: Jun 4th, 2014
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Social workers to be fast-tracked to a nervous breakdown

best to get it over with quickly, says governmentAfter a five-week ‘taster course’, the students will be air-dropped, naked, into the most challenging urban areas in the country, including Stoke-on-Trent and Wigan.

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Posted: May 6th, 2014
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Childcare reforms lead to first battery-farm nurseries

incredibly efficient education‘Each toddler up to the age of four will now be cared for in connecting cages sharing common divider walls’.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2014
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Middle class parents turn to plastic surgery to sharpen elbows

all about giving the kids a decent kick startEvidence is mounting to suggest that middle class parents have found a new way to help their children get ahead in an increasingly competitive world.

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Posted: Mar 10th, 2014
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