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Posts Tagged ‘China’

Ventnor corner shop abandons one child policy

‘Originally our one child policy was accused of being anti human rights,’ said Derek Smythe. ‘But our prosperity rose, especially where pick and mix was concerned, as a result of decreased pilferage.’

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2015
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Cameron demands Great ‘pig farm’ Wall in China

In a surprise announcement – seemingly timed to mirror the Chinese funded, French built and owned Nuclear Power station at Hinckley Point – the Barratt building company in conjunction with the British Government have announced that they will be build a New Great Wall Of China beginning next year.

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2015
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Xi/Cameron transcript in full

Sipping a pint of his favourite bitter in the Plough at Cadsden, Xi Jinping enthused ‘mmm – hoppy as ever. I’ve missed this’. The Chinese premier confirmed that, whenever he is over, he makes a point of stopping off at the village pub to catch up with his mates, pet the dog and maybe play some darts.

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2015
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Chinese nuclear reactor firm to build Trident replacement in ‘bonus’ deal

‘It makes absolute sense to capitalise on Chinese technical expertise and economic success – and for us to throw in a nuclear weapons contract to sweeten the nuclear reactor deal,’ George Osborne told the Institute of Directors. ‘That is why we have invited Chinese enterprises to build Britain’s new nuclear deterrent in Faslane. ‘This is a win win win outcome, the third win being how much this will annoy the Scots.’

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Posted: Oct 21st, 2015
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Mother’s horror as man sells iPad to buy kidney

iNcontinenceThe mother of a Chinese man has spoken of her horror after finding out that her son, identified only as ‘Big Zheng’, had arranged the sale of one of his iPads to fund the purchase of a kidney in a shady internet transaction.

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2015
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