‘Close analysis of the picture shows that Mary Magdalene is displaying obvious signs of cellulite,’ wrote lifestyle analyst Liz Jones. ‘Worse still, her hair is all over the place. Ooh darling, that’s a fashion disaster. [read...]
‘In the old version you never knew if the crab was coming or going, so this is a considerable breakthrough for crustacean technology. However, we have had to compromise the design with a rear-view mirror so they can get used to new methods of navigation.’ [read...]
‘In hindsight choosing 25th December was a mistake. We thought it would be a great time to have the festival – practically everyone’s off work for Christmas and the schools are closed. But in reality people are far too busy eating too much, [read...]
The Guide, known to aficionados as ‘The Bible’, lists the best locations for communion wine the length and breadth of the country, including tasting notes on the best Eucharistic tipples of the year. [read...]
As the MV Darwin left Liverpool bound for the third world, reformed vicar Mike Hartnell contemplated his mission of going to the farthest reaches of the planet and persuading the natives that they ‘really shouldn’t rely too much on all that stuff they were told a little while ago.’ [read...]
