Small-time criminal Jed Simmonds admitted he had reached rock bottom after being caught shoplifting at Poundland, the high-street bargain basement store.
Posted: Dec 20th, 2010
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On a statement on their website today, Santa Claus Deliveries Inc. has confirmed that it has accepted a bid from UPS for a 40% stake in its distribution service.
Posted: Dec 20th, 2009
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The 22-year union between Lionel and Marjorie Alwyn was reportedly under threat last night, as it emerged that Mr Alwyn had declined their traditional festive sexual congress and asked ‘for the money instead’.
‘Well what was I supposed to say?’ said an outraged Mrs Alwyn, who had been led to believe that her festive fur-trimmed stockings and saucy Santa hat had been hitting the spot since the Berlin Wall came down. ‘And it wasn’t just that he was turning down a few hours of nookie with me in favour of some money in an envelope. It was that he only gave it a transferable value of twenty-five quid.’
Posted: Dec 15th, 2009
More from Lifestyle
number of unwanted breadmakers traditionally hits crisis level a few weeks after Christmas
Posted: Feb 2nd, 2007
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‘What do you get the man who has everything, in tartan?’