My fellow Americans,
I am writing to you all at this special time of year to tell you how fantastic I am, how amazing my family is and how Donald J Trump has singlehandedly made America great again. [read...]
What started as a cute Christmas tradition documenting the nocturnal shenanigans of a festive Imp, has now spiralled into debauchery, missing underwear and one decapitated garden gnome. To make matters worse, the elf has now been caught in flagrante delicto – balls-deep in ‘Missy’ the cat. [read...]
The scraggly remains of some seasonal decoration, sellotaped to the underside of your bannister, has already hung on longer than your commitment to the gym, your resolution to phone your parents once a month and your belief in privatization. [read...]
The tea-collecting season commences on January 1st as part of a prolonged cleansing ritual that also features gruelling levels of physical exertion, enforced boredom and various forms of abstinence. Participants experience a number of unpleasant psychological ill effects, [read...]
A man is fighting for his life today after going ‘cold turkey’ following a Christmas eating binge. Dick Scales, 36, a much loved member of sleepy local seaside town Ringhersham remains in a ‘Stable, [read...]
