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Posts Tagged ‘christmas’

12 dead in festive edition of Celebrity Total Wipeout – Extreme!

in the next series, those chosen by public vote can use RPGsThe BBC has scored a ratings hit this Christmas with a special edition of Celebrity Total Wipeout in which all 12 C-listers failed to stay the course and were stretchered off the show in coffins.

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Posted: Dec 29th, 2014
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‘I hate Christmas, it’s so expensive,’ says woman queuing outside Next at 5am

tradition must be observed‘My house is now littered with extra crap that relatives and friends have bought me, so naturally my next move is to brave the storms to buy more.’

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Posted: Dec 26th, 2014
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Children to resume being little shits again

Since mid-December, children have being making an effort to be slightly less obnoxious than usual in the hope that Santa will forget what they’ve been like for the rest of the year. But since the appearance of overpriced tat wrapped in shiny paper, such concerns have been abandoned.

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Posted: Dec 25th, 2014
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Office Adultery Season ends on a high

Initial reports suggest that the 2014 Office Adultery Season was the best since records began. Tearful exits from Christmas parties are up 11% on last 2013, with sales of pregnancy testing kits breaking all records.

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Posted: Dec 25th, 2014
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‘We don’t like you either’, sprouts tell humans

give peas a chanceBrussels sprouts have issued a Christmas message today stating that the feelings of loathing and distaste people have for them is entirely mutual.

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Posted: Dec 24th, 2014
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