‘There was a huge and sudden drop in the demand for skilled toy-makers just after Christmas in 2011, which nobody saw coming. This hit one minority group particularly hard, namely elves. Some re-trained as jockeys but for many it has been a difficult year,’ said Mr Osborne.
Posted: Nov 15th, 2012
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‘Shopping for 37 Christmases for all your friends and families is a nightmare,’ revealed Nito, who is still suffering the terrible mental side effects of concentrated exposure to months’ worth of novelty Christmas songs.
‘We first announced it with a double page heiroglyphic spread in the Christmas edition of Barker’s Confundulum. I know we’re not exactly Posh and Becks but we were disappointed not to get even one congratulatory sonnet,’ he said.
Posted: Mar 22nd, 2012
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Retailers up and down the internet have reported a busy Christmas Day as people looked for another way to avoid prolonged contact with loved ones. It is thought that in the modern world of ever decreasing attention spans, most people can tolerate 1 hour 30 minutes of interaction with humans before needing to check Facebook and Twitter, and spend money they haven’t got online.
Posted: Dec 26th, 2011
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‘All we are asking for is a fair draw for the presents,’ continued the shepherd. ‘It’s the same story every year. We wrap up a lamb, struggle down the green hillside to visit the baby and stick our secret Santa present under the manger. But invariably we end up leaving with nothing other than some cow crap on our Jesus sandals.’
Posted: Dec 25th, 2011
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