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Posts Tagged ‘christmas’

‘Squashed Satsuma and Some Walnuts’ is this year’s top Christmas must-have

extra nut to be included in next year's upgradeEager shoppers are setting up camp outside greengrocers along the length and breadth of the country today in order to be first in the queue for the release of this year’s must-have Christmas gift: a squashed satsuma and some walnuts.

‘2013 is the year of nostalgia,’ believes Julia Franklin of Frankiln’s Festive Supplies. ‘Nothing beats the magic, after tossing aside the rest of your presents, of reaching down to the bottom of your stocking, pillow case or, increasingly these days, bin liner, to find the remnants of a small citrus fruit smeared over a walnut. It knocks your Playstation 4 into a cocked hat – cocked paper hats being another top seller this year.’

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Posted: Dec 3rd, 2013
More from Lifestyle



Scientists finally create a dog that is just for Christmas

doesn't even need batteries‘Puppies are so cute, but those last 14 years or so can really drag.’

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Posted: Dec 3rd, 2013
More from From The Archives, Science/Technology



Black Friday ‘was dry run for Zombie Apocalypse’

Consumers across the world were given the opportunity to hone their survival skills, as branches of Wal-Mart simulated the collapse of civilisation. Mindless, reanimated corpses hungry for discounted TVs swarmed over unsuspecting shop assistants, chanting: ‘Braaaaains…braaaaains….br- oh three for two offer, bargain!’

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Posted: Dec 2nd, 2013
More from News In Brief



Ad agencies employing qualified ‘emotional rapists’ over Christmas period

Must have must have must haves. Everywhere.Advertising agencies have taken to hiring freelance emotional rapists in order to fulfil retailers’ demands for increasingly cynical and manipulative Christmas commercials.

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2013
More from From The Archives



Grandmother in fear of iPad Christmas present

Grandmother Margaret Edwards has another thirty-six sleepless nights to endure before Christmas Day when she fears her family will be giving her an iPad as a Christmas present.

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2013
More from News In Brief