An extremist Anglican group is infiltrating church fetes and vicarage tea parties in a plot to radicalise churchgoers, according to the anti-terrorist squad.
Posted: Jan 18th, 2010
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In a surprise twist to the search to discover the origins of he universe Pope Benedict and the Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams are to be fired at one another at the speed of light in the Large Hadron Collider at Cern.
James Gillies, Cern’s Director of Communications, told reporters that the two church leaders were almost ready to travel to the French-Swiss border. ‘They have been praying together and wishing each other a safe journey before they meet again head-on in the middle of the 27km-long circular tunnel.’
Posted: Nov 23rd, 2009
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The Reverend Michael Starns of St Edward’s Church, Mortimer was last week left with no choice but to break wind in order to ensure a second cup of tea during routine appointments.
Posted: Oct 18th, 2009
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The Church of England is divided once again over the use of supermarket-style deals to advertise Christianity on the mass market.
Posted: Jul 29th, 2009
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The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, today announced the introduction of a new prayer-handling service which he called ‘the most significant overhaul of Christianity’s customer services during its 2000-year history‘. The move follows increased competition between spiritual providers, and industry insiders say the Church of England has been forced to modernise or risk losing praying customers to other religions who are now offering some lucrative posthumous deals to their most fanatical followers.
Posted: Feb 6th, 2009
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