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Posts Tagged ‘Church of England’

Church of England ‘forces women into bobble hats’

the Devil doesn't wear Pom PomsCovering should be ‘fluffy, preferably woollen, with a pom-pom on top’.

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2015
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Catholic church split over ordination of women paedophiles

nothing even remotely phallocentric going on here‘It seems incredible that only male priests are entrusted with the responsibility of abusing the children in their care.’

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2015
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Terror threat raised as Cotswolds Vicar declares Church of England Caliphate

The truth will set you free. What faith will do, nobody really knows...With much of the world distracted by the campaign against ISIS in the Middle East, Britain faces a new home-grown terror threat, after Stow-In- the-Wold vicar Jeremy Blythe pronounced an independent Anglican Caliphate stretching across much of rural Oxfordshire.

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Posted: Nov 19th, 2014
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Church men opposed female bishops because ‘they look better in purple dresses’

With the Church of England voting to allow women bishops, a group from the catholic side of the church have admitted they are against the idea on the grounds that ‘a woman would pull off wearing these dresses better than us’ and are a threat to their femininity.

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Posted: Jul 15th, 2014
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Elderly Bishops approaching death suddenly see ‘wiggle room’ with right to die

Despite the word of God being ‘absolute’, senior retired members of the clergy are increasingly of the opinion that the gospel is less a set of rules but more of a ‘guideline stroke cryptic crossword’. Specifically, the previously opposed Assisted Dying Bill is receiving ringing endorsements from ex-Bishops who are coincidently ‘feeling under the weather’, en route to a care home and nearing the ‘episcopal glue factory’.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2014
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