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Posts Tagged ‘Church of England’

Church of England demand God’s right to prolong suffering

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, has spoken out on behalf of the increasingly impotent God, on a difficult issue that has arisen from His regretful decision to give mankind free will, rather than just His own perfect will.

Fortunately for God, the Archbishop Welby has the kind of power and influence over the affairs of man that He could only dream of, as well as having a very fancy outfit with lots of gold bits, a massive hat and a crooked stick which shows just what a terrifically wise man he really is.

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Posted: Sep 13th, 2015
More from Faith

Bedroom cameras to monitor celibacy of gay bishops

paid for by generous donations in the collection plateSecurity cameras are being installed in the bedrooms of Britain’s openly gay bishops to ensure that they adhere to the strict new celibacy rules imposed by the Church of England.

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2015
More from From The Archives

Jeremy Kyle fails to sort out Henry VIII’s love life

'Grab him by the Hamptons!'TV host Jeremy Kyle has admitted defeat in his bold attempt to distract Tudor monarch Henry VIII from his bid to divorce his middle-aged wife and overthrow the authority of the Papacy. The episode, entitled ‘You Had Sex With My Dead Brother, You Slag, Now God Won’t Give Me Any Sons’, is due to be aired next Wednesday.

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment

Church of England ‘forces women into bobble hats’

the Devil doesn't wear Pom PomsCovering should be ‘fluffy, preferably woollen, with a pom-pom on top’.

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2015
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Catholic church split over ordination of women paedophiles

nothing even remotely phallocentric going on here‘It seems incredible that only male priests are entrusted with the responsibility of abusing the children in their care.’

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2015
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