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Posts Tagged ‘Church of England’

Image of a piece of toast seen on face of the Virgin Mary

‘The amazing thing is that it was just like the one I had had for breakfast.’

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Posted: Dec 27th, 2013
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Archbishop ‘embarrassed’ to find Satan is former employee of God

‘Payroll records show that a Mr Lucifer Satan was formerly employed as an angel for Heaven Plc,’ admitted a spokesman for the Archbishop of Canterbury.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2013
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‘Refuse to pay our loans back and I’ll give you arse cancer’, warns God

Following the Archbishop’s plans to ‘take down’ payday lender Wonga by offering people an alternative, the Church of England have released the first promotional video for its new ‘revolutionary credit facility’ today, featuring the Almighty God himself, who claims their punishments for late payments will be ‘much more severe’ than Wonga’s, ensuring nobody will ‘even dare get into debt’.

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2013
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Wonga.com offers to ‘save souls’

lie now, pray laterPayday loan company Wonga has hastily announced plans to diversify and offer unsecured ‘high-cost salvation’ in response to the Archbishop of Canterbury’s recent decision to offer Church of England payday loans.

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2013
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Theatre regrets hiring former Archbishop of Canterbury for pantomime season

'It's all behind you! Oh no it is!'‘It was a baptism of fire for all of us,’ admitted Communications Manager, Kate Raines, reflecting upon hiring former Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, for this year’s pantomime Aladdin at the Theatre Royal, in Winchester.

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Posted: Jan 11th, 2013
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