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Posts Tagged ‘Church of England’

Bon viveur churchgoers rejoice as 2011 Guide to Good Communion Wine launched

miraculously goodThe Guide, known to aficionados as ‘The Bible’, lists the best locations for communion wine the length and breadth of the country, including tasting notes on the best Eucharistic tipples of the year.

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Posted: Feb 1st, 2011
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Referees join Catholic Church in protest at female linesmen

Peace. Off.Seven top-flight referees and one fourth official have become Catholic bishops in protest at the admission of female linesman to the English Premier League.

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Posted: Jan 25th, 2011
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God denies prayer-response targets have been missed

‘Almighty’ God has admitted to being ‘a bit behind’ with his workload, but denies that the stringent turnaround targets He was originally committed to have been missed.

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2010
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Church of England bishops call for right to move horizontally as well as diagonally

The General Synod of the Church of England has called on the Government to amend centuries-old restrictions on the movement of bishops, so that they can move horizontally and vertically as well as diagonally.

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2010
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‘Essential for bishops to have willies’, says Church of England

Archbishop of Canterbury later showed everyone the new secret handshake‘Certain traditional offices of the bishop are in practice impossible to discharge unless endowed with a penis, and preferably a good long one.’

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Posted: Aug 7th, 2010
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