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Posts Tagged ‘Church’

God denies prayer-response targets have been missed

‘Almighty’ God has admitted to being ‘a bit behind’ with his workload, but denies that the stringent turnaround targets He was originally committed to have been missed.

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2010
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God ends sponsorship deal with Catholic Church

In a fresh blow to the Catholic Church’s fortunes, God has today announced He is to end the lucrative sponsorship deal that has been the organisation’s financial mainstay for nearly 2000 years.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2010
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Thirsty vicar ‘forced to resort to flatulence’

One trump or two?The Reverend Michael Starns of St Edward’s Church, Mortimer was last week left with no choice but to break wind in order to ensure a second cup of tea during routine appointments.

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Posted: Oct 18th, 2009
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Statue in church ‘looks like Jesus’

A recently-redundant former City bond trader has told of how he found religion after being forced him to take refuge in a church just off Pudding Lane.

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Posted: Oct 6th, 2009
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Traditionalists lament decline in Sunday shop-going

What's the world coming to?‘It’s a sad day when society forgets what the Sabbath is for,’ said the British Retail Consortium.

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Posted: Jul 5th, 2009
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