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Posts Tagged ‘cliches’

Police to seek more hard-drinking detectives who don’t play it by the book

Scotland Yard has announced drastic plans to fast track a special breed of unorthodox, heavy drinking, rule-breaking detectives with an uncanny knack of bringing scumbags to justice, despite not playing by the rules.

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Posted: Nov 21st, 2011
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Football manager sacked for ‘poor cliché record’

'Two-balls' Hughton said to feel 'sick as a chocolate frog'‘On paper Hughton looked strong, and he never gave the club less than 110%,’ explained Newcastle owner Mike Ashley. ‘But at the end of the day he’d neither been ‘sick as a parrot’ nor ‘over the moon’ for months. That’s not a great advert for the game.’

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Posted: Dec 7th, 2010
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Man regrets keeping enemies closer than friends

'but it's what my grandmother would have wanted'Dave Ansell, a finance worker from Leeds spoke today of his disappointment that advice from his grandmother which he has adhered to for the last 20 years to keep friends close but enemies closer has only served to bring him misery and suffering.

Dave first made the decision when he was at school and decided to befriend the local bully ‘Big Johnny Carter’ who was surprised when the kid he had been beating up and stealing lunch money from asked him if he fancied a game of football and invited him round to dinner. Eventually they became good friends despite Johnny constantly stealing from his house, making sexual remarks about his mother and giving his dad a broken nose. Five years later he took the rap for an assault Johnny had committed and found himself locked up for six months in a young offender’s institution only to be released to find Johnny engaged to Dave’s childhood sweetheart.

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Posted: Nov 20th, 2009
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Tory MP feared drowned after falling off raft of clichés into Sea of Hyperbole

Unusually, he didn't have a buoy in towEmergency services today called off their search for Harvey Jackson MP who fell off the raft of clichés that he unveiled during his speech at last week’s Conservative Party conference and hasn’t been seen since.

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Posted: Oct 12th, 2009
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English football managers to import foreign adverbs

In football English words have always performed nice and bright.

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Posted: Jun 6th, 2007
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