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Posts Tagged ‘Cliff Richard’

BBC and Police to extend holiday house-sitting service by popular demand

best if they've all gone on a summer holidayFollowing the recent raid on Sir Cliff Richard’s home, where police hung around for a while tending the plants and generally keeping the place tidy while the BBC filmed it, many celebrities are vying to experience for themselves the new BBC/Police house-sitting service while they are off on their holidays.

‘We have had heaps of enquiries,’ trilled the South Yorkshire Police Events Manager, Pauli Throop. ‘Our Flying Squad eye-in-the-sky package offers a discreet and professional service that won’t disintegrate your front door by whumping it in with one of those battering rams we use with our Channel Four budget ‘Crims on a Shoestring’ deal. Our highly-trained operatives will not so much as thieve a ‘Sir Cliff On Rollerskates’ ashtray.’

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Posted: Aug 22nd, 2014
More from Celebrity

Raid at Sir Cliff Richard’s house found ‘disturbing calendar images’

Over fifty prospective images for a planned 2015 calendar were discovered on hard-drives and mobile phone devices during the dawn bust, some of which have already been classed as ‘Category A’ and ‘totally gross’.

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Posted: Aug 16th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment

Referendum forces Britain to face prospect of being sh*t at tennis again

Sue Barker and Andrew Castle not ruling out a return to competitionThe worrying prospect of Britain returning to a status of national tennis shame has topped a list of concerns in the results of an online poll issued to England, Wales and Northern Ireland today, further fuelling the debate surrounding Scottish independence.

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2014
More from Sport

Drunk office workers ‘a real hit’ at corporate entertainers’ Xmas party

Entertainers delighted by Graham from Accounts puking in the boss's desk tidyThe first Christmas party solely for the singers and entertainers who make a living performing in tribute acts for corporate parties and balls was declared a ‘resounding success’ by organisers, as attendees were entertained into the night by a large group of drunken office workers.

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2013
More from From The Archives

Google and Vatican team up to create ‘SoulView’

‘Basically, most internet users are going to Hell,’ said Page. ‘Yes, you, Arthur Bennett of Halifax, searching repeatedly for “hot nurse bending over in short dress”. Or you, Patrick Jenn of Islington, searching for “schoolgirl with big jugs in PE kit”. You people make me sick.’

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Posted: Dec 12th, 2013
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