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Posts Tagged ‘Cliff Richard’

Jesus retracts ‘bigger than the Beatles’ comment

Jesus H Christ, spiritual guru and star of church services and warm toast, has been forced to back down after comments that he is more popular than the Beatles right now.

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2010
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Countdown begins for Christmas Day family hostage situation

passed down from generation to generation‘It’s become a kind of tradition,’ said mother of three, Mrs Tracy Grimshaws, ‘First the kids open their presents, then we have Christmas lunch, then my husband, Kevin goes and gets his gun.’

This year’s Christmas Day siege will come live from the home of the Grimshaws, Ventnor, Isle of Wight. ‘I have been holding my family hostage every Christmas day for the last 10 years’ said Kevin, ‘My father held his family hostage and his father before him. It’s what Christmas is all about.’

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Posted: Dec 24th, 2009
More from UK News

Cliff Richard forced to consider the ‘human cost’ of Mistletoe and Wine

will be remixing 'bachelor boy' with sleigh bells and releasing that insteadSir Cliff Richard has acted quickly to distance himself from perennial Christmas hit, ‘Mistletoe and Wine’ after a new Home Office report identified them as primary causes of drunkenness and adultery at office Christmas parties.

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Posted: Dec 13th, 2009
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Uproar as Wimbledon grunter caught miming

Michelle Larcher de Brito, the latest tennis grunting sensation, was booed off the court at Wimbledon yesterday when it was revealed that she was miming. The crowd turned on the teen star when her ‘wounded fox’ recording began to skip, and continued playing while she was seen to be sitting down eating an energy bar between games.

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2009
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