‘Basically, most internet users are going to Hell,’ said Page. ‘Yes, you, Arthur Bennett of Halifax, searching repeatedly for “hot nurse bending over in short dress”. Or you, Patrick Jenn of Islington, searching for “schoolgirl with big jugs in PE kit”. [read...]
The ban, which stretches back to 1996, was imposed on the ageing pop star after his painful rendition of ‘Singing in the Rain’ on Centre Court left spectators traumatised and unable to enjoy the rest of the tennis. [read...]
Acrimony has broken out at this year’s Wimbledon championship after the celebrity seats usually reserved for tennis-loving minstrel Sir Cliff Richard were commandeered by desperate officials in order to accommodate the Middleton family. [read...]
Squeaky clean Sir Cliff went by the code name Harry Web-of-Deceit amongst Whitehall officials. Cliff’s paymasters gave the bachelor boy a brief to release soft pop ballads as a smokescreen for more clandestine activities. Having successfully established himself as a sleeper in the pop world he was ‘activated’ [read...]
Mr Bedford says he will miss not having people taking a swing at him as soon as he opens his ‘big mouth’.
‘I realise now that realistically I didn’t have a chance against a public school educated swivel-eyed dwarf incessantly spouting bollocks,’ said Mr Bedford, [read...]