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Jedis disappointed with new ‘energy-saving’ lightsabers
‘These new lightsabers are rubbish,’ complained Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. ‘They take ages to light up and when they do you can barely see anything with them.’ [read...]
Tagged climate change
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CO2 shortage proves there’s no global warming, say morons
Angry people across the UK have lifted their knuckles from the ground and demanded answers as to why there is apparently a shortage of carbon dioxide for drinks plants, when scientists and other lefties have been telling them for years that the world is getting hotter because there is too much of it. [read...]
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Global warming to solve everything
The UN has today announced that a three-degree rise in temperatures around the world will, eventually, solve everything.
For a start, experts have announced that Kevin Spacey can’t swim and he, therefore, will perish . [read...]
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World to be saved by repainting all cars green
Environmental campaigners are supporting a new initiative to have all new cars painted green after the year 2020 and to provide grants for all existing cars which are not coloured green to be re-sprayed by 2025. [read...]
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Climate change ‘making government less transparent’
A government spokesman has blamed increasing CO2 levels and rising temperatures for making the whole business of governing opaque. DEFRA analysis of climate change data has indicated a shift in openness and honesty amongst Whitehall staff. [read...]