Climatologists across the globe have expressed concern that the retirement of Sir Alex Ferguson will result in temperatures being lowered across the planet. The impact of no-hairdrying on match days and the elimination of daily assaults against the BBC is expected to reduce temperatures by around 15 degrees Celsius and may lead to icebergs forming in the Red Sea.
Posted: May 10th, 2013
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‘You have to go back to the Ice Age, when the ‘it’s hot – not’ joke was all the rage, for a similar spike’ said Mr Jones.
Posted: Dec 7th, 2012
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‘Dear Weather. It’s sad to see you’re not well at the moment. What’s wrong? Have we done something to upset you? It’s not like you’re ignored; most conversations mention you at some point.’
Posted: Jun 14th, 2012
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‘It had been hibernating for years but we managed to tempt it out with a small bottle of Krug and a free trip to the Eurovision Song Contest.’
Posted: May 14th, 2012
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‘These new lightsabers are rubbish,’ complained Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. ‘They take ages to light up and when they do you can barely see anything with them.’
Posted: Mar 7th, 2012
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