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Posts Tagged ‘clowns’

NASA to end 49-year-ban on clowns in space

clowns' discoveries of water in space by the bucket load turned out to be scraps of paperThe US national space agency today announced the long-expected reversal of their previous ban on clowns being allowed on manned space missions. Although it was relaxed in 1995 to a ‘Don’t Laugh, Don’t Tell’ policy, it still placed heavy restrictions on overt tomfoolery.

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Posted: Sep 20th, 2014
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Auto-industry admits ‘only the unicycle’ is safe

Deaths by unicycle last year ‘were zero’, deaths by pogo stick – ‘ziltch’ and death by ‘riding on the back of a midget’ barely registered in the hundreds.

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Posted: Apr 10th, 2014
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Clown cars recalled over lack of safety concerns

‘As soon as I turned the key in the ignition, I could tell that the car hadn’t fallen apart.’ said Mr Sprinkles, a disgruntled long-time customer.

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2012
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Clowns demand pay rise for appearing in children’s nightmares

‘Few people consider what it’s like to be in our shoes,’ admitted Pepe, 32. ‘Clown wages are beyond a joke.’

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Posted: Jan 26th, 2012
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Clowns ‘should travel to work in uniform’

'clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right...'‘The psychological benefits of seeing someone struggle through a busy ticket-gate in outsized trousers cannot be overstated.’

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Posted: Sep 6th, 2011
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