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Posts Tagged ‘Co-operative bank’

Mr Blobby confirmed as new Co-op Chief Executive

has all the required qualificationsMottled 1990s variety performer Mr Blobby was confirmed last night as the new Chief Executive of the ailing Co-operative Bank.
The grinning pink and yellow inflatable would bring to the role of Chief Executive a greater sense of decorum, gravitas and reassurance to the bank’s customers than his predecessor, claimed one insider.

‘We’re delighted to have appointed Mr Blobby to lead our organisation through this difficult period. His name is synonymous with integrity, fiscal responsibility and prudent planning. And he’s thick skinned enough to bounce back from any early setbacks. Literally’.

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2013
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Royal Bank of Scotland to be sold to Betfred.com

Royal Bank of Scotland, 65% owned by UK taxpayers, is to be sold to the online gambling organisation Betfred.com, it has been announced. The exact details of the deal are yet to be revealed, but it is understood that only a nominal payment will be made to ‘take it off your hands, gov.’

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2013
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Man accidentally launches nuclear strike on Iran after online bank detail error

‘How was I supposed to know that one simple typo on my ‘memorable name’ was going to immediately connect me to the Pentagon mainframe defence system computer?’

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Posted: Oct 11th, 2010
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