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Posts Tagged ‘coalition government’

David Cameron appoints new head of strategy, Englebert Humperdinck

first job is a Strategy for Europe‘My first task is help sex up Mr Cameron’s image,’ explained the septuagenarian pop sensation. ‘To appeal to that all-important female demographic, David is growing a nice pair of mutton chop side burns.’

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Posted: Mar 14th, 2015
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Ed Miliband promises a cap on life expectancy

In an increasingly desperate attempt to prove his credibility with right wing voters, Ed Miliband has promised to limit the lengths that people will go to avoid death.

Buoyed by the recent projected cancer rates, Miliband is convinced that Labour can improve upon the Coalition’s track record of making people ill.

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Posted: Jun 8th, 2013
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Massive sinkhole appears under No.11 Downing Street

‘Even as he disappeared from view Mr Osborne insisted he could dig his way out and that he was heading in the right direction.’

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Posted: Mar 12th, 2013
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Traces of meat found in poor people’s diets, admits Iain Duncan Smith

Minute traces of meat have been found in some meals consumed by poor people, according to the Department of Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith.

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Posted: Feb 1st, 2013
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Nick Clegg orders Chinese for Cabinet

‘This proves that Nick Clegg is in charge of decisions of the utmost importance,’ said a Downing Street statement.

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Posted: Sep 19th, 2012
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