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Posts Tagged ‘coalition’

Clegg ‘in tears’ after Cameron reveals truth about Santa

it's really going to hurt when he reaises Lib Dem voters don't exist eitherNick Clegg is reported to have fled the Cabinet Briefing Room in tears today following an ‘emotional’ and ‘frank’ discussion with David Cameron about Father Christmas.

‘I told Dave to stop,’ said Vince Cable, ‘but he seemed to be enjoying Nick’s discomfort a little too much. He had this sly little smile on his face. George Osborne was there too, warming his backside against the fire and throwing in snide comments about the Tooth Fairy.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2014
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Council removes Lib Dem politician from Tory foster couple

hoping to regain some self-esteem one dayHis foster parents belong to a political party with ‘a warped view of the world’.

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Posted: Nov 6th, 2014
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Home Office asks for advice on how to fix an inquiry

something slightly skewy found on Marsham StreetWith regret Home Secretary Theresa May has conceded that she has run out of ‘dodgy’ candidates to appoint to chair the Inquiry into Historic Child Abuse. Having lost Baroness Butler-Sloss and now Lord Mayor Fiona Woolf to conflicts of interest, Mrs May has been forced to ask betting syndicates, investment bankers and FIFA on how best ‘to rig’ an inquiry. Fortunately having managed to delay the proceedings for a further three months, it is hoped that those accused will have had ‘…plenty of time to shred any incriminating documents’.

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Posted: Nov 1st, 2014
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Government to cut emergency services ‘to stop people needing help’

‘Pastimes such as candlelit dinners, smoking cigarettes while asleep and drying your shell-suits over the paraffin heater will become life-threatening adrenaline sports’ said a Downing Street spokesman.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2014
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Spain snaps-up disused ‘Go Home Vans’ to rid Costa Del Sol of ‘annoying English’

Nobody expected the Spanish exposition ‘They’re just really rubbish tourists; they can’t even tan properly.’

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Posted: Oct 21st, 2014
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