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Posts Tagged ‘coalition’

Controversy as Eric Pickles awarded planning consent for fourth chin

‘The decision to allow a fourth chin is an environmental disaster’ said Greenpeace activist Fenton Barnes. ‘The expansion in the capacity of Eric Pickles will only lead to a large increase in greenhouse gas emissions, specifically methane’.

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2014
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Government raises UK bullshit threat level to ‘severe’

The UK’s bullshit threat level has been raised from ‘substantial’ to ‘severe’ meaning that the possibility of impending bullshit is highly likely.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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Cameron raises terror threat level from ‘Boring’ to ‘Arms industry needs sales’

Some members of the public have found the whole process strangely reminiscent of ‘…pretty much every time a Government wants to justify going to war’. One déjà vu victim said: ‘It’s odd the things we are supposed to be scared of. The UK sells Weapons of Mass Destruction to the Middle East for decades – all is calm. Saddam Hussein pretends to have some – the shit hits the fan.

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Posted: Sep 1st, 2014
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Nick Clegg to use everyone’s paternity leave next year

another great idea!Anticipating he will have a lot of ‘free time on his hands’ after the next election, the Deputy Prime Minister has volunteered to provide round-the-clock support to all new parents. The Liberal Democrat’s’ manifesto will pledge that Mr. Clegg will stay with couples for up to six weeks after the birth of their child; providing nappy changing, reassuring hugs and amusing anecdotes about proportionate representation if ‘…baby refuses to go to sleep’.

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2014
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No one in Cabinet ‘experienced in anything’

Eyebrows were raised when it became clear that the new Secretary of State for Education Nicky Morgan, her Ministers and all the parliamentary under-secretaries were privately educated and thus have no knowledge of the state sector beyond seeing the occasional episode of Waterloo Road.

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Posted: Jul 21st, 2014
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